So, you’re playing with the idea of eloping when suddenly you’re hit with a pang of guilt. It feels almost as if you just decided to swap Grandma’s secret family recipe for that store-bought pie at Thanksgiving…
But here’s the thing: your wedding isn’t a potluck dinner. And you’re definitely not on trial for wanting to tie the knot on your own terms.
Eloping is like the VIP backstage pass to an exclusive concert – it’s intimate, it’s thrilling, and let’s be honest, it makes for some killer stories.
Now, the concept of eloping has evolved over the years. It’s still the road less traveled by wedding standards – but more and more couples are choosing to ditch the traditional wedding route, and opt to have an epic elopement instead to exchange their vows in a more personal & private manner.
So, in this post, we’re going to navigate that road map – minus the guilt trip.
I’m here as a professional wedding photographer to dish out the real talk on why eloping might just be the plot twist your engagement story needs. So buckle up, grab a snack (just not the wedding cake yet), and let’s dive into why running away together doesn’t have to mean running away from your conscience.
Understanding the appeal of elopements
Picture this: you and your significant other, a breathtaking backdrop – no frills, no fuss, just the two of you making a lifetime pact. Sounds pretty epic, right?
Well, that’s elopement in a nutshell…
But why are more couples skipping the march down the aisle with 250 pairs of eyes following their every step?
For starters, it’s the intimacy factor – saying “I do” without an audience can feel incredibly profound. It’s just you and your partner, and maybe a llama or two (if you’ve chosen to say your vows on a mountaintop in Peru).
Then there’s the adventure aspect. Eloping can be the ultimate adventure, complete with spontaneous decisions and unexpected delights. Imagine exchanging rings in a hot air balloon or after a sunrise hike – kinda beats the old routine of reception line greetings, doesn’t it?
The financial side of things can’t be ignored either. Traditional weddings can have price tags that make your bank account weep, but elopements? – For a fraction of the price of an average wedding, you can have an all-out epic elopement anywhere in the world.
Let’s not forget about stress – or rather: the lack of it – either. Wedding planning can be like playing a never-ending game of whack-a-mole – just when you think you’ve got everything under control, up pops another decision to make or problem to solve. Eloping sidesteps that chaos. It’s like a breath of fresh air: it’s chill, it’s relaxing – and it just feels SO GOOD.
Finally, elopements equal freedom. The freedom to do whatever you want – whenever you want – without a bunch of opinions & suggestions on ‘how your wedding should be’. The freedom to make the experience truly yours; to make it about what truly matters: your love for each other, and the lifelong commitment you’re about to make.
So, why are couples giving the traditional walk down the aisle a rain check? Because sometimes the most authentic moments are the ones you don’t have to share with your mom’s entire book club. And believe it or not, that’s a valid reason.
Managing societal expectations and your personal desires
But what about all the societal expectations?
I mean, like it or not, we live in a world where weddings are often more about the spectacle than the sentiment. So, if you’re not careful, you could end up on a conveyor belt to an over-the-top affair that feels more like a Broadway production than your nuptials.
And let’s be real here! Your Aunt Edna and her opinion on what constitutes an ‘appropriate’ wedding can be suuuper persistent. But here’s a thought: maybe Aunt Edna doesn’t know best when it comes to how you should tie the knot. I know, I know, shocking…
Truth be told, cultural norms and Pinterest-perfect weddings have set a high bar – and it’s covered in expensive flowers and draped in expectations. It’s enough to make any couple consider if they’re planning their dream day or a five-star show for everyone else.
Okay, but what about eloping?
It can feel like you’re choosing the road less congratulated. But remember, there’s no rule book that says your wedding must include a three-tier cake or dancing to ‘The Cha-Cha Slide’. If your personal desires point to a quiet corner of the world where you can exchange vows in peace, then why not?
This is your permission slip to step off the wedding treadmill. It’s about you and your partner, after all. Not the second cousin who’s dying to catch the bouquet or the neighbor who’s already RSVP’d plus three (without even receiving their invitation).
Eloping is about crafting a moment that feels like home – comfortable, intimate, and unmistakably yours. It’s a declaration that you’re playing by your rules, not the ones written in bridal magazines.
So take a stand against all the ‘shoulds’ and ‘must-haves’. And start thinking about what sets YOUR heart racing – even if it’s as simple as saying “I do” on a cliffside with nothing but the sound of waves as your soundtrack.
The emotional impact of eloping
Time to tackle the monster under the bed: your guilt.
Now, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you what you should and shouldn’t feel. But here’s the thing: it’s normal to feel a bit guilty about going rogue on your wedding day.
– Because you’re human.
You’ve got a heart, and despite the allure of an elopement, there’s that niggling worry about rocking the family boat. Maybe it’s your grandma, who’s been dreaming of this day since you were in diapers, or your best friend who’s had your wedding colors picked out since grade school.
The truth is, you might ruffle some feathers – and that’s okay. Feathers can be smoothed back down. It’s about finding that sweet spot between honoring your relationships and honoring your partnership.
First things first: communicate. You’re not running away to join the circus (unless that’s your elopement plan, which, by the way, sounds amazing), so have those honest conversations with your loved ones. They love you, and when they see your eyes sparkle with the thought of an elopement, they’ll get it. Well, at least, hopefully.
And for those who don’t? It might be time to don your emotional raincoat because there might be a drizzle of disappointment. But remember – this is your story. You’re allowed to write the chapters. Sure, some pages might be bumpy. But at the end of the day, it’s about you and your partner starting a new chapter together.
To smooth those ruffled feathers even further, consider a post-elopement celebration. It’s like saying, “We did our own thing, but hey, let’s celebrate together!” It’s a great compromise that lets you have your elopement cake and eat it too, surrounded by those who matter most.
You can also choose to invite a small handful of your nearest & dearest to your elopement ceremony. It doesn’t have to be just the two of you – although it definitely could be, if you want it that way.
But whatever you do, just remember: eloping isn’t about turning your back on friends and family. It’s about embracing your journey in the most authentic way possible…
…and if that journey involves just the two of you and an officiant who’s willing to hike up a mountain at dawn – then lace up your boots and start climbing. Just maybe send a postcard from the peak.
Elopement planning considerations
Despite what you might have in your mind, eloping doesn’t mean you simply show up somewhere and wing it (unless that’s your style, of course). There’s an art to eloping gracefully, and it starts with a bit of planning – albeit A LOT LESS planning than with a wedding.
First up, location, location, location! The spot you choose to elope is the silent guest at your ceremony, so make it count. Whether it’s a sun-drenched beach or the nook of a forest where even birds respect the ‘do not disturb’ sign, pick a place that resonates with your vibe.
Next, let’s talk legality because as much fun as it is to say “I do” – it’s a lot less romantic if it’s not legal. Marriage laws vary like fashion trends, so do your homework. Make sure you have all the necessary documents, permits, and whatever else the local love law requires to make it truly official.
Also, don’t forget about the details that make your day uniquely yours. Just because you’re eloping doesn’t mean you can’t add personal touches like a favorite poem read aloud or a token from your first date that you exchange instead of rings. Get creative; this is your show, after all!
Now, onto the unsung hero of elopements: witnesses. Depending on where you’re making it official, you might need a couple of people to attest that yes, this happened. These can be your closest circle of loved ones who you’ve still invited, a local willing to help out, or even hired professionals – because yes, that’s a thing.
Why your photographer matters even more when you elope
Speaking of planning, there’s one other crucial detail…
You see, when you elope, you need photos – GOOD photos. After all, your photos will be the eyes through which your extended friends and families will get to experience your wedding. And that’s a big deal.
So, when choosing your photographer, you want more than just some person with a camera – you want a visual storyteller who knows how to turn a quick elopement into an epic tale. You want someone who takes more than just pictures – you want someone who crafts memories.
Now, your photographer should be like a ninja – they should be invisible while catching your candid moments of laughter, the wind playing with your hair, the way your eyes light up when you look at each other. They should be there for you and offer you gentle guidance when you need it – without becoming an annoying third wheel.
So, choosing a photographer for your elopement isn’t like swiping right on a dating app and hoping for the best. This is more like a matchmaking service; you want someone who gets you. Someone who’ll hike that extra mile, who won’t bat an eye when you say you’re exchanging vows underwater, and who knows the importance of capturing the essence of your day.
As a photographer myself, I approach elopements with a mix of reverence and excitement. I’m there to document your journey while helping you craft the day you’ve envisioned, whether that means recommending the best cliffside spots or holding onto your dog’s leash while you exchange rings.
So, if you’ve chosen to elope – and need someone to immortalize your ‘just us’ moment, I’m here for all of it – the secret whispers, the windblown hair, the laughter that echoes off the mountainsides.
If you’re ready to turn your elopement dreams into reality without a side of guilt, let’s chat. Because when it comes to celebrating love, there are no rules – just endless possibilities and one heck of an adventure waiting for you.
So go ahead – elope. Embrace it – make those memories. And let’s create some breathtaking photos that’ll make every viewer wish they’d been in on your best-kept secret.