Okay, so you’re thinking about spicing things up a bit and whispering those two magical words: “We’re eloping!”

But is the mere thought of having to break the news to your loved ones sending shivers down your spine?

I mean, you want to follow your hearts – but you don’t want to offend anyone by doing so, right?

Yes, you want to avoid Aunt Mildred’s opinions on flower arrangements and yes you want to dodge Uncle Bob’s questionable dance moves. Of course you don’t want to invite your mom’s friends from work, and you definitely don’t want to spend sleepless nights trying to figure out how you’re going to pay for your dream venue – before someone else beats you to it.

No, you want intimacy – you want freedom. Your hearts yearn for an adventure that’s just about the two of you. And you can’t wait to get away from the world and start your new lives together by creating unforgettable memories someplace far-far-away.

You want that – you really do. You’d just prefer to skip the part where you tell your friends & families that you’re gonna run away together and say your vows in private. Private, as in: they’re not going to be there to see you do it.

Well, I’ve got some bad news for you: you can’t skip that part. If you want freedom, intimacy, and adventure, you have to “eat your veggies too”. But does that mean you should just throw in the towel and give up on your dream elopement altogether?

Heck no!

So in this blog post, I’m gonna give you my top 3 tips on how to announce your elopement to your friends & families – without offending them.

Excited yet? Well then, hold onto your bouquet, because we’re just getting started!

When to announce your elopement?

When it comes to breaking the news, timing is everything.

After all, you want to ensure that your loved ones have the space to process your news and come to terms with your unconventional approach to tying the knot.

So ideally, choose a time when emotions are calm and the atmosphere is light. Avoid blurting out your plans during family gatherings, Thanksgiving dinners, or significant life events or occasions – even if you’re on pins & needles to tell everyone all about the grand adventure you’re planning.

Rather, choose a casual dinner. Or a Saturday afternoon. Heck, you can even plan a special activity with your loved ones where you can let them in on your “little secret”.

Just put yourself in your friends’ & families’ shoes, and make your announcement at a time when they’re in the right space – both physically and emotionally – to be receptive, understanding, and supportive of your plans.

And please don’t wait till the last minute to do it. You don’t have to announce your elopement years in advance – but as soon as you’re decided on how you want to get married, start looking for the best opportunity to tell the people you love.

Speaking of… don’t forget about the hierarchy amongst your loved ones. I mean, your parents shouldn’t learn about your elopement from your best friend’s mom, should they?

So, consider who you want to tell first, second, and last. I recommend starting with those nearest & dearest to you both: parents, siblings, grandparents, and best friends. Then slowly expand the circle to extended family and friends.

Start with your VIPs – and only start posting about your elopement on Instagram after you’ve told everyone who matters about your plans. This gradual reveal can help you avoid any potential (and unwanted) shocks or surprises.

How to announce your elopement to friends & family?

Now that you’ve mastered the art of timing, it’s time to dive into the heart of the matter: how to actually share the news of your elopement with your loved ones.

Obviously, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach here. I mean, every single one of your personal relationships is unique and special in their own way.

But this is your advantage here: you know your loved ones like the palm of your hand. So deep down, you already have at least a gut feeling of the best way to break the news to each friend and family member.

So, don’t hesitate to add a personal touch here! Some of your loved ones might appreciate a heartfelt one-on-one, while others might be okay with you bringing it up during a casual chat. But make it personal, make it special – don’t be afraid to drop a few inside jokes in your announcement or plan a fun activity or even a small celebration to break the news.

But no matter the context, there are 2 main things to keep in mind when announcing your elopement to friends and family.

First, honesty is always the best policy – especially now, at such a significant life event. Be authentic in sharing your reasons for choosing to elope and express your love and appreciation for their support.

I mean, you have your reasons for choosing to elope. And whether they’re financial, emotional, or you simply want to avoid the Chicken Dance – make sure to be upfront about them.

This is your choice after all, so you shouldn’t have to explain yourself or feel guilty for your decision. But it’s also your job to reassure your loved ones that this decision is not about excluding them – rather, it’s about choosing yourselves on a day that should, in fact, be all about you.

Secondly, make sure to deliver the news in person. This will not only make your announcement more personal, but it also shows respect. If geography is a beast, a heartfelt phone call or video chat might still do the trick.

But texts, messages, and emails? – forget about them. They’re about as personal as a “Dear John” letter.

Now, even if you do everything right: anticipate a range of reactions – from excitement to confusion or even disappointment. Obviously, not everyone will be thrilled by your decision. In fact, some of your closest loved ones may feel hurt or left out…

So, let them express their feelings freely. Stay open to questions and emotions, show empathy, and reassure your loved ones of your commitment to them despite opting for an intimate celebration. Be available, but again: don’t feel like you owe anything to anyone just because your way of getting married doesn’t fit their vision of how you should tie the knot.

How to include your loved ones in your intimate celebration?

What if you could have your wedd… err, I mean, your elopement cake, and eat it too?

Well, that’s exactly what happens if you find a way to involve your cherished circle of family and friends in your celebration – while still standing by your decision to make your elopement all about your love for each other, without any stress, distractions, or obligations.

The real question is: how?

Well, my favorite way (as an elopement photographer) is to have the essence of your elopement journey captured through breathtaking photos & videos. Have your grand adventure documented – and share the visual story of your elopement with your loved ones, allowing them to witness the magic of your special day

Some couples I’ve worked with even asked me to create a digital album or a heartfelt video montage to share their joy with those who held a special place in their hearts – and you can do the same!

You can also combine sharing photos & videos with a post-elopement celebration or gathering for your closest family & friends. Whether it’s a casual brunch, an evening soirée, or a cozy dinner, this gathering will allow you to include your loved ones – without the stress of planning a huge celebration to do so.

And let’s not forget that while elopements are known for their intimate nature, you can, technically, invite those who matter most to you. I mean, it’s your elopement – so you get to do whatever you want…

So, just know that if that’s what your hearts desire, there’s room to include your nearest & dearest in meaningful ways. Whether virtually or in person, a select few can witness your vows or be part of a small ceremony – and share the beauty of these special moments with you.

As we come to the end of this blog post, I truly hope that I’ve managed to ease your nerves, and that sharing the news of your elopement with your loved ones now feels a bit less scary.

And hey, if you’re ready to capture the magic of your elopement adventure – I’m here as your elopement photographer to capture all your favorite moments “from the shadows”, without being in the way or ruining your intimacy. Whether amidst rugged landscapes or urban hideaways, I’m here to tell your love story the way you want it told.

So, if you’re still looking for an elopement photographer who just “gets you”, reach out to me today to tell me all about your love, your vision, and your dreams.